Get some laugh!
A 5yrs old girl asked her mother; Mummy shebi all angels use to fly? Her mother replied: yes. . . they do and why do you ask? The girl said; yesterday when you went to saloon to make your hair, Daddy called our housemaid "My Angel". Mummy will she fly?
Mummy replied. . . yes dear! She will fly back to her village 2moro and she will never return.

An old farmer wrote a letter to his son in prison. "Son, this year I will not plant cassava and yam because I can't dig the
field, I know if you were here you would have helped me". The son replied his father "Dad don't even think of digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole".
The POLICE on reading this letter went early in
the morning and dug the whole field in search of the money but nothing was found. The next day
the son wrote his father again "Dad you can now plant your cassava and yam this is the best I
can do from here."
Dad replied "haaa my son, you are too powerful indeed, even in prison you still command police
men to work for me. I was so surprised to see the IGP and his team holding hoes and shovels,
digging my farm. I will write to you when I want to harvest. 
MORAL LESSON : Nobody can imprison your mind

How To Treat An Old Schoolmate
I Was Driving Downtown On D Highway When Sum Soldiers Stopped Me For Overspeeding My Punishment Was To Carry 1000 Blocks When I Reached 970 I Saw That Their Leader Was My Old Schoolmate I Went To Him And Complained He Asked "Have You Started"? I Told Him Yes And He Said Ok Am Sorry "Return The Blocks To Where You Met Them
.......
.......

STUPID TEACHER: The Teacher says to the class:who ever stands up is stupid *Nobody stands up* Teacher:i said who ever stands up is STUPID! *Tatafo stands up* Teacher:tatafo,do you really think dat you are stupid? Tatafo:no mrs,i just thought dat maybe you are lonely being the only one standing

Job Interview. MP
OFFICER:- What is your name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- In full please
Monday:- Monday Paul
OFFICER:- Your father's name?
Monday:- M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What does that mean?
Monday:- Matthias Paul
OFFICER:- Your native place?
Monday : M.P. sir
OFFICER:- What's that?
Monday:- Mkpuma Province
OFFICER:- What is your qualification?
Monday:- M.P.
OFFICER:- (angry) What is that?!!!
Monday:- Mathematics Professor
OFFICER:- So why do you need a job?
Monday:- It is because of M.P. sir
OFFICER: Meaning?
Monday:- Money Problems
OFFICER:- Would you explain yourself and stop wasting my time? What's your personality like?
Monday: MP sir.
OFFICER: And what is that?
Monday:- Marvelous Personality
OFFICER:- I see... I will get back to you.
Monday:- Sir, how was M.P. sir?
OFFICER:- And what's that again?
Monday:- My Performance.
OFFICER:- I think you have M.P.
Monday:- Meaning?
OFFICER:- Mental Problem!!!
Don't laugh alone.
Send this to M.P. (Many People) to put smile on their faces.

let's have fun
we want to know who is using the biggest phone in this group
am using iphone72 plus,i av an ATM machine inside,a kitchen,toilet and a hotel inside,if my phone ring in the bedroom and am in the toilet,the phone will come and meet me in the toilet,am not lieing oooo

Bringing it back as Joke Of the Day.
# Lolz
A beer company was hiring someone to taste the beers before selling out. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, AKPOS walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.
The manager tried to figure out how he could drive AKPOS away becos he was looking very dirty and rough. but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give AKPOS a trial. He ordered his secretary to give the AKPOS a glass of wine.
AKPOS: (took a sip and said) It's red wine, a muscat, three years old, grown on a north slope, matured in steel containers.
MANAGER: That's correct! (The manager exclaimed). Well give him another one let's see.
AKPOS: (took a sip again) It's burukutu, a combination of herbs and apeteshi distilled at Akokoaso near New Abirem in Eastern Region of Ghana 3 years ago
MANAGER: OMG!! Incredible!
Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that.
So AKPOS was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said,
AKPOS: BROS U WICKED I SWEAR!!! wait first (angrily), u give me piss to test? No wait(repeatedly), u give me piss??. OK. Ur result anyway is Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and one last tin if I'm not given this job I swearrr sir, I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy!!!
both the manager and the secretary fainted..
Manager... You are hired, when are you resuming.

Let's play a game
it is called (48 hours dating).......E
ITHER you are single or
dating......you can also play
too......especially if you are
single........
Just type......I Love you..... In the
comment......an
d anyone that replies....I Love you
too.........if you like him or
her....make it happen.....add him or
her up and start dating......only for
48 hours......
Start now
no bullying!

Ekpo had an accident
with his new BMW X6. He manage 2 get up and called a police officer and said:
”this man just came
and smash off my
BMW. My 6 million
naira car is now
condemned”. The
police officer shook
his head in amazement and said: “You Ekpo,
you are so materialistic. You didn’t even realise
that your hand had
been cut off”. Ekpo
looked at his
amputated hand
and screamed: “Oh
my God, where is my
gold wrist watch....

*
_A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the girl's house. Good evening, the man greeted. Your daughter told me the problem in the house. I can't marry for now because of my family issue, but I promise I will take care of her for the rest of her life, and if she gives birth to a girl,I promised to buy her a mansion, 2 jeeps and 1 million dollars. If it's a boy, I'll buy her houses in a country side, 5 jeeps, 2 big factories and 5million dollars in her account. If it's twins, I'll do anything she asked. But if there's miscarriage, what do you suggest i do? The girls father silently pat the young man on his shoulder and said; my son, if there is miscarriage, you'll sleep with her again.

pls don't laugh alone share it to put smiles on other people's face

Two little boys stole a bag of oranges from their neighbor & decided to go to a calm place to share the loot” one of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, 2 oranges fell of the bag
behind the gate’ but they didn’t bother to pick them since they had enough in d bag .
Few minuets later A drunkard on his way from a local bar passes near the cemetery gate and heard a voice:
“One for me, one for u. “One for me, one for u”
He immediately sobers up and runs as fast as he can to the local priest. “Father father pls come with me ‘come and witness God & Satan sharing corpse at the
cemetery.”
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and the voice continued: “One for me, one for u, one for me, one for u..
Suddenly the voice stop counting and says:
“What about the two at the gate?”
Omo come see marathon ….even the priest almost pass church gate !!! shouting we are not dead yet oooooooo!

WAHALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DEy ooo

IBRAHIM..... I came to your house But you didn't dey, were did you gone???
SIKIRU..... Hey!!! See oyinbo oo
IBRAHIM... Correct me na.
SIKIRU.... I came to your house but you didn't arounded, were wented you???
IBIDUN..... You both will not kill me with your English o
SIKIRU & IBRAHIM.... Correct us na.... We know you gone to school.
IBIDUN.... I comes to your home, but you have not around, were does you wents?
Chaaiii
Oooo my God...
I beg correct them oooo

JOKE OF DAY!!!!!!!!
A girl invited her boyfriend(Akpos) over
for
dinner in her
house so he could meet her parents.
While they were eating, it started raining heavily.
So the girls mother said; "Akpos, i think
you
should sleep
over here because the rain shows no sign
of stopping
anytime soon".
After eating, the mom went to the toilet
and
the father went
to sleep while the girl went to the kitchen to
clean the plates.
When the girl and her mother returned to
the sitting room,
Akpos was not there, they checked all
over the house and
did not find him.
As they were wondering what happened
to
him, he walked
back into the house, really soaking wet, and
with a plastic
bag.
Girl's mother: Where were you and why
are
you so wet? Akpos: I went home to get my materials
for
sleeping here.
One Word for akpos o,..??
Don't laff alone...pls share with others!!

Mosquitoes of nowadays have no respect
at all. Imagine last night as I was about
sleeping, then one mosquito came to my ear and start singing....
"If i tel u say I love you o"
Your body your blood na my own o my bobo Many blood for my mouth oo
Malaria and typhoid for your body o o my bobo No do no do no do garagara for me!
No do no do no do serenre o
No do no do no do shakara owe
No do no do no do garagara for me o
Boy you are beautiful too
Your bloodu shak me like brukututu. I go chuk u chukuchuku ...
Friends what do you suggest I do them today??

DESCRIBE THIS BOY ! ! !
.
Girl texts her Boyfriend.....
.
GIRL: Sweetheart...? Am down and
need some money to fix my hair.
.
BOY : No problem sweety.
(he sends her some cash).
.
[The girl went missing for a couple of
weeks, no calls, no texts and when he
tried to call her....
"user busy, not available, can not be
reached].
.
Few weeks later she texts him
again......
.
GIRL : Baby....? missed you but not
ok, am down and I need some money
for my outfits.
.
BOY : Ok sweety am there for you.
.
(He again sent her some money).
.
[the girl went missing again, this time
for full month].
.
A month later she came back again,
this time she made a phone call.....
.
GIRL : Honey I Really missed, how is
you I just called to let you know it's
my birthday and i need some money
for the shopping.
.
BOY : Hey whatsapp, you only appear
when you need money from me,
Do you really love me or you are just
taking advantage of Love.
.
GIRL : Baby i love you so much how can
you talk that way, don't you trust
me

1) A guy asked u for sex and u asked, "Do u Love me?". What do u expect him to say or Are U a LEARNER ?
2) Half naked girls are hot, while well dressed girls are beautiful...Hell is hot, while heaven is beautiful...the choice is yours.
3) You have been engaged to him for 2 years and no wedding is forth coming. Please kindly remove the ring. Is your finger a key holder?
4)You have slept with over 10 girls without protection yet you go to the barbers shop with your personal clipper. What are you preventing???
5) Guys always know who their heart belongs to, so if you like cook chicken in diamond sauce or do monkey style in bed, if its not you, It can't be you.
6) In America wen a couple go to bed dey say "Good nights my love" In Britain "Sweet dreams darling" In Nigeria "Did u lock d Gate, doors & windows?
7) You cannot say "I can't date you, I have a boyfriend" and be asking for money from him. GT-bank staff cannot receive salary from UBA bank!
8) My name Anita, I used my friend to set u

A girl was with her father when she saw her
boyfriend coming
GIRL: Have you come to collect your book titled
"DADDY IS AT HOME?" by Ngozi Okafor
BOY: No, I want that your hymn book called
"WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?"
GIRL: I don't have that one but maybe you should
take the other one titled "UNDER THE MANGO
TREE" by Chimamanda Adichie
BOY: Fine, but don't forget to bring "I WILL CALL
YOU IN 5 MINUTES" while coming to school
GIRL: I will also bring you a new one too titled"I
WON'T LET YOU DOWN" by Chinua Achebe Then;
DAD: Those books are too many, will he read
them all
GIRL: Yes dad, he is very smart & intelligent
DAD: Okay don't forget to give him the one on the
table titled "I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD
EVERYTHING YOU'VE BEEN SAYING" by
Shakespeare! And also the one on the dinning
table titled "IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO
GET MARRIED" by Wole Soyinka
Hahahaha..... come on don't leave it there pass it
and share it on because you never know who
needed just a smile.

An American man walked into a restaurant in
London. As soon as he entered, he noticed
an
African man sitting in the corner. So he
walked
over to the counter, removed his wallet and
shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for
everyone
in this restaurant, except that black African
guy
over there!" So the waiter collected the
money
from the man and began serving free food to
everyone in the restaurant, except the
African.
However,instead of becoming upset, the
African
simply looked up at the American and
shouted,
"Thank you!" That infuriated the man. So
once
again, the American took out his wallet and
shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying
bottles
of wine and additional food for everyone in
this
bar, except for that African sitting in the
corner
over there!" So the waiter collected the
money
from the man and began serving free food
and
wine to everyone in the bar except the
African.
When the waiter finished serving the food
and
drinks, once again, instead of becoming
angry,
the African simply

*_A girl missed her period 2 months ago,her mom took her to the clinic for pregnancy test of which it was positive.Embarrased, her mom said; who is the pig that got you pregnant? The girl picked up her phone and made a call, an hour later,a young handsome man drove in Ferrari to the girl's house. Good evening, the man greeted. Your daughter told me the problem in the house. I can't marry for now because of my family issue, but I promise I will take care of her for the rest of her life, and if she gives birth to a girl,I promised to buy her a mansion, 2 jeeps and 1 million dollars. If it's a boy, I'll buy her houses in a country side, 5 jeeps, 2 big factories and 5million dollars in her account. If it's twins, I'll do anything she asked. But if there's miscarriage, what do you suggest i do? The girls father silently pat the young man on his shoulder and said; my son, if there is miscarriage, you'll sleep with her again.

pls don't laugh alone share it to put smiles on other people's face␁

Pls i need ur advice urgently.
I told my dad
2day dat i won a scholarship 2 study in
America, he was very happy dat he order
my mum 2
slaughter 5 chicken for celebration
and we popped
champagne, before i knw he sold his
car and
collect loan without even telling me ,
he gave
#500,000 as thanksgiving in mosque
and now i' ve be

I was a candidate at a JAMB Examination.we wre ritin use of English.i shaded d ones i knew nd was waitin 4 mana 2 fall 4 rm heaven wen i noticed a very beautiful gal siting beside me.
She was shaddin n wasnt lookin up,tro d elp if ma long neck,i peeped n checked her work,she was on num 65,i was still on num 21 n tym was runnin out.i quickly tanked God n started shadin along wit her.
We got 2 num 98 2geda ,sundenly,she looked up n caught me n shouted in a low tune," what is it? Why is u dey copying me? Copys! Copys! U is nt shaming ! As big as u are ! You are a disgrace manhood!
Na so i shout " Heeey! Heeeey!!!! I am finished ooo!! ,who has eraser!!! Yekpa!!

If you are my friend, family, neighbours, crush etc
Pls come and take pictures with me now I repeat take pictures with me cause am going to bleach and you won't know me again
I have said it

Hello ladies!
Did your boyfriend break your heart? Don't bear
the heartbreak alone. Call him in the middle of the
night, tell him you went to hospital to check for
your HIV status and the result came out positive.
ask him why he infected you with the virus and
dumped you. Cut the call at that moment. Relax one corner, open your window for a fresh
air and let your ancestors do the remaining fight.